Life shouldn't be predictable, but we can always plan things ahead. What if you can't plan what you want and you feel like you are living in a K-drama (Korean-drama)? I have been feeling exactly that for about two months now.
The K-drama usually starts with a female and a male character whom either don't like each other or where one of them know how they feel for the other person. In the end after a lot of drama they end up with one another. I don't know how the other person, the guy, feels so it is impossible to even look from his point of view. Also I don't expect us to end up with one another, but the drama... The drama is definitely something that can be told through a K-drama! So I guess this is a one sided K-drama from the girl's perspective.
Most of the time I feel confused, what does he mean with his body language and why does his words sound kind, playful and perhaps even caring? There was a time, when he was just my colleague. But I guess he is an enigma now too. He seems to love to hear me laugh or see me smile, but I don't usually laugh when he does something unexplainable weird. Such as taking off his shoe, smelling the inside to proof that he doesn't have a stinky sweaty feet problem (at work?) and proofing that he didn't bring his swimming trunks by pulling up a part of his underwear (while we were outside for lunch...). Yes, I stared at him weirdly when he took off his shoe, especially when he smelled the inside. But laughed when he looked up and stared at me cutely while he said: "It doesn't smell bad"... And I looked away when he pulled up his underwear... Ehmm... Boxers? Which colour was it? I don't know! ♫ It was so sunny outside ♫
So many questions! Why does he need my attention? Why is he so attentive? Does he do it consciously or unconsciously? Is it true that his body language is telling me that he likes me or perhaps he has no clue what he is doing? I guess he is a shy person around me, which is bad because it makes me shy. It hardly ever feels good when we are quiet. Not that we can't talk nor do we hate each other. It is just we don't know what to say to one another.
His body language shows that he is very interested in me? He leans in, he stares into my eyes, his feet are pointed towards me, his whole body is facing towards me or he leans over the back of his seat and lies his head on his folded arms while he listens while I talk. The last one is totally adorable! No woman can resist a guy, who is listening! And I mean "truly" listening and replying to what you say. I guess he is irresistible on that level, but a guy who is reading a book or thinking like the statue of Rodin "The thinker" makes me swoon. So that isn't really a measure on whether I like a guy or not.
Perhaps he is very attentive, because he wants to know me better. I usually don't talk a lot about myself. I ask more questions, because I find other people more interesting. So perhaps that is why he is so interested in me when I talk? Hoping to see a glimpse of my life and to see some more of me? But! That doesn't explain why he always smiles when he replies to what I say. Everyone is friendly, but not that friendly right? And why does he have to be in my view when we are in a group conversation and need to stand between another guy and me while we are talking? He moves in, in a subtle way so no other man will feel offended. I'm so glad he doesn't push anyone away to be able to stand next to me, in front of me or in my proximity! So I guess he is a sweet guy.
Doomsday might be upcoming Monday. Most of our colleague's are on vacation or working at home. We are the few people, who go outside for lunch. Soooo Monday might be the day that we go out alone, with each other to eat lunch. Unless one of us chickens out and decide to eat inside. The weather is not in my favour, because it will be sunny so I will wait until he asks me to go outside. I won't ask him whether he will go outside, because so far he have not yet given me a negative response to that question. I have decided that when it is going to be sunny outside, that I will go outside for lunch. The sun and the fresh air are so divine! I am not going to let him steal that away from me! He has the opportunity to decide, whether he wants to go outside or whether he wants to go out for lunch with me. I'll see what happens Monday, will I be able to talk after that about it? Will see...
Line of today: Will he decide to go outside? Or flee... "Lets get to the Chopper!" quoting Arnold Schwarzenegger from Predator, Expendables 3 and from the QVC appearance at the Jimmy Fallon show.