Thursday, September 24, 2015
A lot has happened these few weeks... My head is completely filled with emotions that I have to deal with happy, angry, sadness, frustrations... My mum fell, her knee is still not ok so she is recovering/resting at home. Me, myself and I is starting to feel comfortable in a certain situation, but to be honest I am not dealing with the emotions in a healthy way.
My brain usually shuts down certain parts of emotion during work, but when you worry and also have a lovey-dovey feeling it stires into a huge distraction and even numbs your brain. The blocking mechanism has broken! The index archive of my brain is not easily accessible due to the intense emotions. Recalling names was already a problem for me, but now it is worse! Thank God, I still recognize people! I hope my mum gets well soon and I hope my mind creates a new path for me to access the archive or lets me access it period!
I don't think I can go back to who I was a few months ago. I have been spoiled on certain aspects of my life and I don't want to let it go. Do you think the whirlwind of emotions have made me selfish or am I finally doing something for me for a change?
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Dates... A couple of numbers with dashes, slashes or just a combination of numbers with words. Or just the plural of dating...
Have you ever planned the first, third and fifth date before you had the first date? I have! I genuinely looked forward to the date(s)! And still wonder where we are heading. The first date would have been chatting with a cup of coffee. The third the "dam tot dam wandeltocht" and fifth is him playing piano for me.
But... Who plans so many dates before meeting someone face-to-face? Were our chats so interesting and captivating that we just couldn't get enough of it? Did we truly release the tension of "the first date" with this way of thinking?
The most amazing thing of all is, nothing went as planned. We talked and talked, walked, enjoyed each others company... Time flies by too fast when you are having fun! We had our fourth date yesterday. Unlike the other dates, this was not planned ahead! I just wanted to see him! I think nothing going as planned is my routine now... At least, when it comes to him.
Line of today: The scent of the man you really like can cheer you up for no particular reason at all! *coughs: "This is so silly!"*
Monday, September 07, 2015
"Datin' is a lot like fishin'. Sometimes catch and release is the best method," This is a quote from Earl Dibbles jr. I shared a post on my Facebook wall with this quote and I added my own comment: "What if they don't want to go back to the pond, river, sea, ocean?!"
It was 1 September and I didn't want to do anything related to dating any more. I just wanted to reply in jokes to all the men, who send me a message or added me on their like list on Happn. I even thought: "Lets try Tinder again!" Men turned into paper aeroplanes, which I shredded by pressing a heart or by sliding them to the left.
Dating has totally been ruined by two horrible dates. They were men I met online and one found the river eventually, but it took days to throw the other back into the ocean. I should have listened to my inner voice, which was telling me not to meet them. The chats weren't fun, witty or charming. But somehow I thought I had to push myself to make the effort to go on a date. A practice run so to speak. To find aspects, which I should learn from. So I did, I learned from my mistakes but I lost interest in the game too.
I started to have a "bleeeh" attitude again for online dating and the temptation on going for a 6 months hiatus arose again! So I stopped for a few weeks and visited festivals with friends, Sail 2015, Uitmarkt, wandered as a tourist in Den Haag and Scheveningen. I had so much fun, it was intense and relaxing! And men were just guys, who passed by who smiled who I said hi back to. No pressure just being friendly.
Then on Friday night of Sail 2015, I saw a "charm" on Happn. This was after I watched fireworks with one of my best friends. I send a heart back and went to bed. The next day, I visited Sail during the day with another dear friend. In the afternoon, I checked my phone and there was a question. A sentence you would use in real-life when you meet someone face-to-face. The chat lasted for a few hours, but it felt good so I added him on Whatsapp. Later that evening I watched the fireworks with my friend and chatted with him a bit. Days after that, we chatted even more and last week even hours until I fell asleep. Finally, I met him yesterday. He is cute, funny, intelligent, lovely and a gent. Are you mine to keep?