A neurotic deceiver (in Dutch: "Neurotische bedrieger") is a person, who doesn't believe that the things that they accomplished is truly their own work. Unless it's a failure of course. It's a fight between feeling and being baka for all eternity. Even if you've accomplished something it is still because someone else helped you.
Yesterday, I've posted that I've been feeling baka for two weeks because I don't know what I've done... Or more like I understand what I have done, but I believe I really can't do anything at all on my own. Today, I've received the grade from last weeks assignment... It's a bloody 8! But instead of saying to myself happily: "Yeah! I've received an eight."
My thoughts were: "He must have corrected it wrong... I made tones of mistakes, didn't I?"
I looked at the comment next to my grade and it said something like: "You have a conclusion."
Not many people had an answer to the main question and I did, they only presented their results. I looked at my work and there wasn't one red mark to be found... No way, I deserve this mark... I guess I'm definitely a neurotic deceiver, but this weeks work... I don't think I'll score this high... How can I? Now, you must be thinking: "Silly, Vlien."
Line for today: "Blame myself for faults and praise others for my own accomplishments."
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