I will write a few posts about certain things I have noticed about a certain guy and how it has made me feel. This post will be about his staring and my reaction before a week ago and why I changed my behaviour since last week.
The lingering stare
He pretends to be doing something else but actually stares at me. Today for instance he moves his bottle of water to the right side of his table. I can hear that, because he slides it over the table. I turned around to listen to someone talk and I saw him look away all of a sudden. He picks up his bottle of water and drinks from it in gulps. He was pretending that I didn't see what he was doing. I ignored him and continued focussing into the distance.
The look away and look back stare
This stare was intense and breathtaking, I was sure I stopped breathing for awhile when we did this. We were standing in an elevator with another colleague, but his torso and one of his legs was facing me. The colleague didn't notice anything, while the elevator went up. I felt a stare, so I looked up and he looked away all of a sudden. So I looked away, but the staring was back so I looked up again this time holding his gaze for about 3 seconds. He moved his head away again, but the next stare lasted 5 seconds and he stared into my eyes looked down and up again, an upside down triangle stare. I looked away this time out of surprise and took a deep breath. I stared back one last time, his breathing was louder than before we held this for 10 seconds. I was certain I stopped breathing, so I turned my head completely away from him and took a deep breath and exhaled. The elevator stopped and we walked out of the elevator... I hope he had fun it was way too intense...!
The "staring into the distant" stare
He does this one quite often and most of the time I wonder whether he is dreaming or whether he is actually staring into the distance. But the distance is usually into my direction, so what is he trying to do? When I look at where he is staring at and look back at him he smiles shyly. It seems to be a kind of victory for him getting my attention?
The "I got caught stare", but I don't care and will keep on staring at you
When I talk to other colleagues he seems to focus on me with his body and arms, when I smile and laugh his eyes linger. And after the conversation, when most of the colleagues continue to work he keeps on staring at me with his dilated pupils. I usually stop smiling, when he does that and stare at him while I blink my eyes wondering what he is doing or what he will say. But he doesn't say a word! Instead after 30 seconds he turns his chair around and continues working again!
The shy stare
He used to do this often, but lately he is more daring so I hardly see or notice this any more. When he notices that I caught him staring he looks down and away from me. All of a sudden he touches his face. Once he almost fell, I turned around because a colleague said: "See you tomorrow". All of a sudden he pulled up his socks and straightens his jeans, while he walked which almost made him trip over his own leg. I'm not sure what he was trying to do, but he has those urges which make me wonder why? He will touch his face, lips (sometimes tuck them in to lick them or suck on them? They usually become swollen and deep red), pull his clothes straight and pulling up his socks.
I changed my behaviour...
Since last week, I have been smiling at all those stares. I usually ignore them. I guess I am trying to fish something out of him, but it seems to be boosting his confidence instead? He used to be very shy... Or it was his vacation that boosted his ego. When he acts like a macho idiot or tries to be cool for his weird standard it leads to me lifting up one of my eyebrows. A few examples "I won't marry", "Having a dog is the same as a child, isn't it?", "Yes, beauty is the first thing that I am attracted to when I see a woman."
I don't feed these remarks or do I react on them in a catty way. I just reply to them in a calm way, which makes him swallow or stop smiling most of time. He knows what my standards are and he knows when I am not impressed. He can act cool, but he shouldn't be a macho idiot because I will bury you with a calm attitude and words that will sting even when they end with a question mark! My reply to his behaviour on finding a new girlfriend, when she isn't beautiful any more: "You do know that it can go both ways right? The beautiful girl can find you ugly over time and can dump you to?"
My favourite stare of all
This week, I saw a stare that I loved! I don't mind him doing that again! I just had a meeting and left the conference room with a smile on my face. I had an A4 notebook with a pen attached to it in my right arm and the work phone in my left hand. I saw that I had a missed call, so I looked up who it was to call the person back. When I dialled the number and held the phone at my ear, I looked up because I felt a stare. The guy was sitting on the side of another guy's desk, the other guy was sitting in his chair in front of his computer. They were talking to one another, all of a sudden the guy stopped talking and froze somehow. His look was open and his eyebrows were up and his eyes dilated. His lips were a bit parted, almost half open. It was the most gorgeous stare I have ever seen! I still wonder how I magically did that? Was there a hair flip, when I walked around the corner with a smile on my face? Or was it when I walked unconsciously into his direction for awhile and than looked up?
My K-drama continues...
I was sure that my K-drama was over, but it hasn't ended. The puzzles of men... If only women like me could understand them and think: "Yes, he is interested in me" or "Yes, he likes me but doesn't dare to tell!"
And from those thoughts decide to flirt by touching him. "The touch" is the thing that makes the difference when you flirt... Truly it is a magical myth, but I guess it isn't because many women have done it. He should just tell me what he thinks instead of smiling at me from ear to ear with twinkling eyes.
Line of today: I have to try to boost his courage to make him cross a certain line.