Missing, which I embrace
I have met many people and said goodbye to many. All of them, I wish them well and/or a peaceful afterlife. The ones I said goodbye to and miss, I remember. The sad, happy, complicated memories we created together. A few of them I meet again once a year or chat with them once a month. The missing is beautiful and I embrace this feeling of missing.
Missing, which I don't want to embrace
I never thought I would miss someone, who I love and never ever want to have back. My rational brain and my beating feelings of a heart doesn't want to ever feel that conflicted ever again. My heart was very kind and forgiving, but my brain was angry, frustrated most of the time. They fought so much that it made me cry. I am glad he let me go and that I let my brain help my heart let go of that possible happy future. I guess my heart had so much hope and tried to convince my brain that what I am seeing wasn't true. He wasn't ready. I do hope we will still be honest to one another and be friends.
Missing, which I am trying to embrace
Not seeing someone, who you want to see every day and wish to see at least once a week is a feeling of missing that I can't seem to deal with at the moment. I feel like a child, who is impatient. Not being patient is something out of my comfortzone. My brain and heart love their alone times, so when I have to wait they are content all by themselves. I guess he has to be one of those amazing men!
I have met many of them these couple of years, but I have never felt this kind of magic before. We had a disagreement, he apologized and I forgave him. And he is still around! This event happened before we even have a relationship. Without asking for anything specific he also knows what to say or actually how to surprise me with words. The timing is impeccable too. The way he walked next to me and holds my hand, and want to hold my hand again after we had to let go for awhile.
I know him for 11 weeks now and we like each other super much. When we were both single we planned out months well, filled with family obligations, vacations, adventures and meeting friends. This has resulted in not seeing each other for almost 5 weeks. I miss him! I don't like this kind of missing, but I will try to embrace it for now.
Missing, I do love this feeling...
It makes me realize what I like and love. Thank you everyone, who has or is still in my life who let me feel the feeling of missing.
♫ And I know
The scariest part is letting go
'Cause love is a ghost you can’t control
I promise you the truth can’t hurt us now
So let the words slip out of your mouth ♫
~ Christina Perri - The words ~